I’m going through a bit of a rough period right now. A couple of weeks ago, I was looking at my adorable pink with blue polka dots mani when I realized I hadn’t had long nails in a while, and then it hit me: I haven’t had long, sexy nails for a while because my nails kept breaking before they could get long.
Nail Stamping Kits – The most infuriating/frustrating and thus satisfying nail art tool. I BEAT IT.
Now you’re probably like “Yeah, man, broken nails happen. So what?” Well, broken nails never happened to me with as much frequency as they have recently. My nails were hard, strong and very sturdy. But now they’re prone to breaking and pealing and chipping. Why? Probably because I’ve had polish on my nails for about 1.5-2 years straight, with very little to no breaks in between, and mostly glitter polishes in the last 6 months, which are especially difficult to remove and therefore must be especially rough on nails. My nails have never been bare for more than a day and Lord in heaven am I paying for it now. My once hard-as-stone nails are now sad, brittle shadows of their former selves. So in order to restore them to their former glory, I’ve stopped wearing nail polish.
Shock. I know.
I look at my hands and they don’t look like they belong to me. They’re so boring, so flat. I hate every second of it. The most I’ve done is wear a clear nail strengthener, which I’m not even sure is that effective, but for the past few days my nails have been totally bare. It makes me sad, probably a lot sadder than it should. I mean, it is just nail polish.
Except it’s not. Over the past year and a half, I’ve really found a part of my identity in my nail polish. It doesn’t define me, because hello, I’m so full of glamour, it shoots out my butt in glamourous lady farts, but it is part of me. It was a way for me to show some fun, sass, colour, a way I could express myself. It was one of the few “visually artistic” things I was good at (fact: I can’t draw a straight line). And now it’s no more.
Obviously it’s for the best. I desperately need to let my nails recover from the onslaught of glamour I’ve forced upon them. And while I haven’t been able to find a 100% reliable source for this, I’m pretty sure it’s not necessarily the nail polish that’s destroying my nails, since most of not all of my polish claims to be formaldehyde free, which is what dries out nails. It’s the constant removal of them, stripping the nails of moisture, and me peeling off nail polish when I get bored, that’s destroying them. Also probably my lack of proper nutrition. All of those things is making my nails all peely and not so sexy. Luckily my nails aren’t yellowed or discoloured so it’s not totally gross, but they are still bare. I’ve decided no coloured polish shall touch my nails until my trip to Boston and then my birthday, because I’d like to give them a fighting chance at being able to once again be the long talons I used to rock. I’m also taking vitamins that specifically promote hair and nail health, but that’s probably just a waste of my money because I don’t know that I fully believe in vitamins.
I also don’t know if I’m qualified to give glamour advice now that I’ve lost my mojo. Maybe I’ll just turn this into a fart blog. A glamourous fart blog.
UGH I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.