Right now I should be thousands and thousands of kilometres up in the air headed west for the Vancouver Theatresports League St. Valentine’s Day Massacre improv tournament with my fun buds in Filthy. But I’m not.
I’m back at home lying in bed, sulking and eating chips I bought from the airport using a food voucher because Manuela, the West Jet representative helping me, felt bad that I wouldn’t be making it to Vancouver today. Long story short, our flight got cancelled and West Jet booked everyone a new flight… except the flight I got wasn’t gonna be until tomorrow morning 6:55 am. In fact only one of us from Filthy got a flight that would allow us to perform as scheduled. Which sucks, obviously.
I was, and still am, so excited to get to the west coast as I’ve never been, but West Jet pissed on my parade temporarily, cutting a full day out of my trip. I’m really not too angry about it, though. I spent all morning Tweeting rude things to and about West Jet using the hashtag #WestJetMoreLikeWetFart because I figured it was better to make a stink online to a faceless Twitter account than being an asshole to an employee who was facing 100 annoyed people. So that basically makes me a hero. I did stick around at the airport for a few extra hours just in case a seat magically became available, and even though I couldn’t get a seat, I did learn a few things.
- Food vouchers make you feel like a demi god – Okay, so they only apply to the restaurants, and not at David’s Tea like I wanted it to, but I went from an annoyed passenger to some half-woman-half-omnipotent deity who could have her choice of meal at Fionn MacCool’s or Toast! or Tim Horton’s. My meal of choice? Chicken sandwich on a ciabatta bun, chips, lemonade, Diet Coke and a bag of Clusters OMG’s! It was too early to eat fries at Fionn MacCool’s, obviously that was my first choice.
- There’s a David’s Tea at Terminal 3 – Who knew?
- You can’t use your food voucher on alcohol – Which makes sense. I’m sure the last thing an airline needs is drunk and belligerent customers who were already belligerent before being drunk about having to spend extra time in an airport.
- When a flight is cancelled, they don’t just have back-up planes in case there’s an issue with the other plane. Which is bizarre to me. This is Pearson International, the biggest airport in Canada and there are 3 terminals. You don’t have ONE extra plane? Fuck off. I don’t believe you. What about that Air Canada one? Just put a West Jet sticker on it and, bam, same shit.
- You won’t get a good reason when you ask “Why?” to your cancelled flight. I mean, their Twitter account said they had to “fix something on the aircraft so it wasn’t safe to fly.” Well, what are we talking about here? Are you fixing the captain’s seat so he’s more comfortable or are you fixing a wing so we don’t crash and die, because one of those is gonna get more empathy and understanding from your customers. TELL ME EXACTLY HOW YOU AVOIDED MY DEATH BY HUGELY INCONVENIENCING MY LIFE OR GET NOTHING BUT MY IRE AND RATE.
- West Jet is a bunch of wet, soppy farts.
Hopefully my next post will be written from the rainy paradise that is the V. Dot.
PS SUCK A DICK, WEST JET.