This is about my latest obsession

If you know me at all, this post will come as no surprise to you. The only thing that’s surprising about it is that it took me this long to write it, but let’s get real, I’ve been very busy being glamourous the last little while.

I have a sick obsession. It’s not makeup or nail polish or beauty product related; it’s not even glitter related. But does it make me feel happy, good, glam, amped up in the same way? HYFR.

Three words: Call. Me. Maybe.

Garbage video, fantastic song.
To some, those three little words conjures up thoughts of shitty and annoying pop music, and it is those people who I feel the most sorry for because clearly they have no idea what fun is and they’re probably dead on the inside.
I love “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen in a way that is unholy and sick. This song has been on high rotation on my iPod and iTunes since March/April when it came out and I can’t believe that I haven’t gotten sick of it yet. My obsession goes further than just listening to it on loop, though. I’ve become one of those people who forces other people to listen to it and then forces them even more to love it. Luckily I’m surrounded by people with great taste/enough sense to not argue with me and it seems like everyone I know and love is fully onboard with this song. And why shouldn’t they be? It’s fun, it’s dancey, it’s got a cute albeit incredibly juvenile message, and it’s a non-threatening catchy bubble gum song. It’s the perfect summer jam. This song just makes you feel good because it’s so sweet and earnest and teaches that ever so valuable lesson of being brave and putting yourself out there. It’s so charming that I’m willing to overlook the fact that Carly Rae Jepsen is for sure in her mid-late 20s and the idea that she thinks giving your number to a dude is some crazy thing to do as a mature woman is ridiculous.
Because lets get real, it’s not crazy at all that a girl should give a dude her number, it happens all the time. But regardless of if you’re a girl or a guy, making a move is hard. One of the reasons why I love that this song is since it’s so happy and fun, it takes some of the scariness out of telling someone how you feel. Each time I hear this song, it makes me want to ask out cute boys everywhere and all the time. Do I? No, I’m chicken shit and hate feeling vulnerable, but the point is it inspires me to do it. I bet “Call Me Maybe” inspired some 15 year old girl to ask a boy to the prom and he probably said yes because who doesn’t love getting asked out? And that same girl is probably gonna get teen pregnant at prom because this dud of a boy stuck his weird teenage boner in her, all because she asked him out, all because of this song.
IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
Carly Rae Jepsen is a regular Simba.
It’s also a great song to get ready to before going out for the night. It puts you in a nice girly headspace that’s so necessary when primping. Basically, this should be everyone’s anthem, even if you don’t primp (which you should).
I’m not the only one who loves this song, clearly, because a lot of people on the internet have spent a lot of time making various remixes and versions of it, which is fan-fucking-tastic for me because it gives me more to listen to.

Huey Mack’s remix is a far less innocent, and way more hilariously vulgar version. Instead of empowering young girls to make the first move, Huey Mack just wants you to bone. It’s a lot less cute, but it’s as catchy as the gonorrhea that Huey probably has after sexing so many skanks. This song also gets points on burning whoever this “Tina” girl is from high school.

Obama singing “Call Me Maybe” is the greatest use of this recent trend of taking already existing speeches made my politicians into songs. I don’t know what that’s called, dubbing? Who knows, who cares, Carly Rae Jepsen 4 Prez, plz.

Jimmy Fallon, Carly Rae Jepsen & The Roots version of the song somehow makes this song even more adorable and charming with the inclusion of classroom instruments. Rainbow xylophone? COME ON. WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DOESN’T LOVE THIS?!

“Call Me Maybe” and “Semi Charmed Life” Mash up The person who did this, perhaps some individual named Chambaland, deserves the world’s best bj for coming up with maybe my favourite iteration of this song (minus the original). It takes a glorious one-hit wonder from yesteryear and mashes it up with what will realistically be a glorious one-hit wonder from today, and creates this insane and perfectly synced song.

In summation, vis a vis, en conclusion, go listen and love this song now, please and thanks.

Hmm.

I think I’ve officially jumped the shark on liking this song.

OH WELL. EAT MY SHORTS, WORLD, AND CALL ME DEFINITELY.

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