Oops. I did it again.
Put yo hands in the air if you’ve got a crippling addiction.
I have, once again, spent my limited funds on the most idiotic garbage that no other reasonable human that I know would blow their money on. Or how I justified it at the time: “I spent my money on the most glamourous stuff that no one has the guts to buy.”
For quite some time now I’ve been trying to get my hands on a nail polish rack because my collection has been growing at a pace comparable to the rate of flies multiplying. In fact, just last night I smashed a nail polish bottle (don’t worry, it was a shitty colour I was over) on my floor because the shelf my nail polishes live on was getting much too crowded. So a nail polish rack is something I actually do need.
GLAM TIP: Beauty stores like Trade Secrets that sell nail polish will often throw out nail polish racks because whenever they get a new collection, the company (like OPI or China Glaze) will always send them a display rack or a regular rack to put that specific collection on. Often times, the store won’t use them so they’ll just chuck them. If you’re lucky enough to catch them on a day when they receive a shipment, you can usually see a pile of racks that they’re probably gonna throw away and if you ask nicely, they’ll give them to you. That’s how I got my clear OPI nail polish rack.
Back to my story, me getting a nail polish rack was out of necessity, not vanity as are 99.9999% of my glamour purchases. I have more China Glaze nail polishes than I do OPI, however, the China Glaze nail polish bottle is actually a bit of a thicky bottle and they don’t fit in the OPI rack. So I had to get specifically a CG rack. However, most Trade Secrets no longer sell CG so they don’t have racks to give away for free. Lucky for me, Phoenix Beauty Lounge, which is one of my all-time favourite stores to buy nail polish from does! Unluckily for me, it’s in Pacific Mall in Markham, which means whenever I get the itch to buy a ridiculous hair accessory (I love you Tiny Hat) or nail polish, I will always ALWAYS make the trek to effing shitty Markham.
I would walk on hot coals in bare feet if Tiny Hat asked me to.
As soon as I enter the mall, I knew I was screwed. I think there’s something about crowds that makes me incredibly competitive and makes me want to buy stuff so other people can’t have them (I feel like this is a serious psychological issue) and P. Mall was BUMPING for a Saturday night. I stupidly walked by a cell phone accessory store where I previously bought a case for my iPhone (making it one of five I currently have, not including skins). The last time I was there, the little Asian girl knew a sucker walked in as soon as I ran over to the bejewelled EVERYTHING. I saw that her phone had almost a glittery sheen over it, as if a diamond had exploded on it and made itself into a sparkly screen protector. I didn’t dare say anything because I knew if I expressed any bit of interest in it, she would totally talk me into buying it, but well after I left the store that time, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I just HAD to have a glittery screen protector, I HAD TO. So when I walked by that store today, I made it happen. And now I have it and now I am full of self-loathing, because the goddamn thing took me 45 fucking minutes to put on and it STILL HAS LITTLE BITS OF LINT STUCK BETWEEN THE SCREEN AND THE STICKY SIDE OF THE PROTECTOR SO NOW THERE’S LITTLE BUBBLES ON IT AND IT’S DRIVING ME NUTS AND I HATE MY LIFE. But where there aren’t awful bubbles on the screen, it looks insanely glam.
After that pit stop, I went to Phoenix Beauty Lounge for what I came to Pacific Mall for and instead of heading straight for the cash register like a smart person would have, I went straight for the nail polishes because I got distracted by these two insanely neony pink polishes by some no name brand, and we all know by now my absolute adoration of neon nails. So I pick those up and then proceed to pick up a mini box set metallic nail polishes that can be used with my nail polish stamping kit that I have never used. I don’t even have the energy to come up with clever, funny or interesting retelling of this story because I’m so annoyed at what a tard I am. WHY DID I BUY ALL THAT CRAP?!?!?!
Oh, yeah. Because I’m addicted to glamour.
While I wear my addiction as a badge of honour (which I shouldn’t), my bank account is sobbing right now. And I feel bad. I either get really angry or really sad when someone cries to guilt me. I feel bad for my future self who will literally live in a hole on the streets using bottles of nail polish as a blanket, because that is where this is headed. I need to at least cut back on going to places that are actively trying to force me into declaring bankruptcy, and if you’ve ever been to Pacific Mall, you know that place is one big, glittery, pink-filled money trap. Literally several dozens cell phone accessory stores? Regular accessory stores filled to the grim with tiny hats and pretty pink bows? Several stores who sell upwards of 30 different kind of faux lashes? COME ON. And also, hello, I’m Asian. Of course I’m gonna love this mall. So it is here and now I declare that I am no longer allowed to go into Pacific Mall. I need to learn how to control my spending because I make very, very poor decisions when there are sparkly doodads twinkling in my face. I have spent too much money on the most ridiculous things and while I don’t actually regret it… I feel like I should, so at least that’s something? GOODBYE FOR NOW, PACIFIC MALL. YOU DIRTY, TEMPTING SLUT. I HAVE NO MONEY BECAUSE OF YOU (mostly because of me)!
Well, anyway, at the very least I’m a little bit more organized right now and 90% of my bottles of polish fit nicely. And here’s the proof.
On the left is the black China Glaze rack and on the right is the OPI rack. Not pictured is my poverty.
And fuck. I just discovered this awful stinging pain on the side of my boob is the under wire of my bra spearing through my flesh. FABULOUS. I’m one bra short. Perfect timing, world. Perfect.