Glamswers #2

So I’m a pile of unorganized garbage who definitely dropped the ball on this blog. Major apologies, but, like, come on. I’ve got a million things to do (like nap in a pile of diamonds)! Figured I might as well take the time to do another Glamswers since after eating literally 3 lbs of dim sum this morning, my brain is no longer able to function properly. Without further ado….
Jenny asks:
“I usually go to the grocery store (or coffee shop or rehearsal or… anywhere, really) in yoga/workout pants. Truth is, I find jeans uncomfortable and if I’m just popping out somewhere, I’m all “Fuck it, Mama isn’t going to da clubs.” The problem is that I’m totally longin’ for some bonin’ and hot dudes tend to be out in public, which means they see me being al lazy.
My question is this: What can I do to give my look a little “oomph” when I’m popping to the grocery store to buy healthy fruits and veggies (read: Sweet Chili Heat Doritos), but when I can’t be bothered to wear jeans or put on my Mac Red? Help a lazy, unglam girl out!”
Let’s keep it real: We all feel like this 99.999999% of the time. Being a hot glamourous girl is effing hard and not everyone has the same twisted priorities as me, so most of the time, regular but still totally glam ladies just bust out sweats and throw that hair into a pony tail and call it an errand-filled day. I’ll refrain from saying “Bite the bullet and just put on real pants or a skirt” because a.) that’s not your question b.) I didn’t wear “real pants” for a solid 2 years because I just wanted to wear leggings all the time. NO SHAME.
My suggestion is if you truly can’t be bothered, put something in your hair. Whether it’s a clip or headband or whatever sparkly or flowery doodad, it will immediately add some fun to your casual ensemble. Slap on a bandanna and go Rosie Riveter on that convenience store.
Rosie The Riveter: Iconic symbol of feminism and total glamour laziness.
Or put your hair in a bun and add a pretty little flower and it will make you look that much more done-up with relatively no effort. The old high-bun, flower-clip look is HUGE for me right now. Just by adding a little accessory to your hair will up the glam to your look and it’s a huge time and energy saver. How easy is it to just shove a headband on, right? Also the shinier, flowery-er, featherier, glittery-er etc etc the hair piece, the more glam.
Of course there’s the matter of looking like a bit of a nut wearing a pretty head piece and baggy-ass grey sweats, so to you I also suggest leggings, aka my favourite nonpants in the world. The beauty with leggings is you can dress them up or down, especially if it’s jacket weather, because no one’s gonna know that you’re wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt from your youth that you refuse to throw out even though it’s frayed and has a million holes in it.
Also, you’d be surprised how far a bit of blush goes in making you look fresh-faced and alive and not dead to the world.
Someone forgot to put on blush this morning. Aaaaawkward.
And if you really, really, REALLY can’t be bothered to do anything, just scrap it and go out wearing/looking however the hell you want. If some dude can’t appreciate the fact that you’re confident enough of a lady to just slum it out by not wearing makeup or proper clothing, he’s a huge dud who doesn’t deserve your Sweet Chili Heat (aka vagina).

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